Late Night Worries
by 6thfloormadness
Summary: One-shot. Jack has concerns about her relationship with Shepard. Rated M for Jack's language.


**Author's Note: **_This story was inspired by "In The Dead of Night" by n7walker._

**Late Night Worries**

Jack lay awake in bed, staring straight up. She could see various ship flying by through the window in the ceiling. For some reason, Shepard thought Omega was the best place for repairs to the Normandy. Yea, the Collectors had done a lot of damage and it was dangerous to fly through space with the ship in this bad off condition, but Omega? People like Jack lived on Omega, she barely trusted herself most of the time, she certainly wouldn't trust any of those fuckers.

She rolled to her side to stare at Shepard, who was sound asleep with a look of such contentment on his face she wanted to punch him in the jaw. But she didn't. Shepard wouldn't like it and Jack found she actually cared what Shepard thought of her. He seemed to think there was something inside of her to make her worth his time, and Jack wanted to prove him right. Partly because she liked the idea of someone caring about her and partly because she wanted to rub it in the cheerleader's perfect face. Jack felt her biotics start to flare up just from thinking about the Cerberus bitch. She took a couple of deep breaths and reminded herself that she was the one in Shepard's bed. Shepard picked her, not Miss Perfect Tits.

Shepard grunted and rolled away from Jack, whether because he felt the biotic hum in the air or simply because he wanted to switch sides, she didn't know. Either way it presented her with an opportunity. Jack moved up against Shepard's back and draped her arm over him to pull them close together. The level of intimacy in the moment was enough for Jack to bring her biotics back under control. _Intimacy, HA that was a laugh_. She and Shepard still hadn't done anything more than kiss and some heavy petting. After they had blown up the Collector Base, Jack had come up to Shepard's cabin ready (_OK mostly ready_) for some mind blowing celebratory sex. They hadn't done anything prior to the Omega-4 Relay, which was fine. Jack knew Shepard was different than other men and sex would have cheapened the moment. But after putting their boots in the asses of the Collectives and giving the Illusive Man the middle finger, Jack had wanted sex. Sure, she had been nervous heading up to Shepard's room, but dammit, she wanted to be pounded till she was bow-legged. She came up to find him drinking a glass of wine, staring at his fish. Instead of making him scream her name beneath the covers, Jack had sat and listened as he talked.

He spoke about how he never told his mom he was was back from the dead in case he didn't survive the suicide mission, how he barely managed to survive Akuze by running away as his squad died behind him, how he got someone called Alenko killed on Virmire, about what it was like to die. He talked about big things and about small things. If he could put up with all her baggage then surely she could go a night without demanding something from him. Oddly, when he was about done talking, Jack discovered she no longer wanted sex, but it wasn't because he had turned her off. She still found him attractive, was still looking for release, but at the same time it didn't seem to matter.

So Jack and Shepard had climbed into bed and fallen asleep. Well, Shepard had fallen asleep, Jack was too antsy over her relationship with Shepard to sleep. _I can't even believe I'm using the word relationship to describe it.__I'm a bad-ass bitch, I don't have relationships, those are for pussies, and pussies get fucked. _Jack suddenly had to get out of there, laying next to Shepard was making her claustrophobic. She didn't want to end up trapped here, depending on Shepard. He might say he cared about her now but would he still be so accepting of all her problems after dealing with them a year from now? Jack released her hold of Shepard and rolled out of the bed. She didn't even bother grabbing her boots, she simply ran out of the room to the elevator.

Jack needed to get back to her spot in the hold. Her hidey hole, her safe zone. The elevator ride down was one of the longest in her life. Why had the designers of this ship thought an elevator was better than stairs? Jack didn't know, she just knew she hated them and wanted them dead, even more so when the elevator stopped at deck three. She wanted to be on deck four, now she had to put up with whoever wanted to get on. Maybe they wouldn't get on when they saw she was in. The doors opened to reveal Tali holding several canisters of whatever it was Quarians ate. Jack had seen them throughout engineering; apparently Tali liked to keep a supply on-hand so that she could eat while she worked rather than take time off and eat with the other crew members. One of the one hand, Jack could understand it. The crew were a bunch of dipshits, she avoided them too. On the other hand, Tali didn't need to be such a kiss ass, working harder than everyone else. Sure, everyone on the ship knew Tali had a thing for Shepard but there were ways to get a man's attention besides being a workaholic employee. Hiding in the ship's hold and never talking to anybody unless prompted apparently worked quite well. Jack glared at Tali as she walked into the elevator.

"Hello Jack...I'm surprised to see you awake at this hour."

"Yea well, so am I. I wanted Shepard to fuck me till I passed out but he decided he rather talk." Jack smirked as Tali dropped her food canisters in shock."

"Uh...er...you wanted...but he didn't..." Tali took a deep breath to gather herself for a moment and asked, "You wanted to have sex with him tonight but he said no?"

"Yes! Well no, not exactly. I went up there raring to go and when I went he was watching his damn fish and just started talking. We never got to the sex part."

As Tali bent down to retrieve her food she asked, "Did you ever broach the topic of...of you know, with him? Tell Shepard what you wanted?"

"No, I was listening to him talk. At the time it was nice but now I think the fucker is just in love with his own voice or something."

"Jack, you know Shepard isn't like that. He always looks out for his crew before himself."

"Hell, if that's the case he should have been a good boyfriend and paid attention to see that I was horny. I was a good girlfriend and paid attention to all his whining after all." It wasn't until Jack had finished speaking that she realized how she had refereed to herself and Shepard. _Damn it brain, stop thinking that I'm in a relationship cus I'm not_. Unfortunately for Jack, Tali also noticed her choice of words.

"It must be nice having a boyfriend, someone to hold you when you're hurt. Someone who listens to you talk when you're sad. Someone who will talk to you just because he enjoys being around you." Tali said wistfully. Jack was pretty sure Tali's brain was no longer paying attention to her surroundings as the elevator's doors had opened but Tali continued to just stand there.

With a shrug, Jack hit the button for the first floor and walked out of the elevator before the doors closed. She heard Tali's brief shout of surprise as the elevator took her up the shaft out of earshot. Jack walked over to the stairs that would take her down to her "room." Despite her desire to be mad at Shepard, Jack's mind drifted back to a time on the Collector base.

* * *

><p>She had taken several round to her left leg when her biotic barrier hadnt held up to the onslaught, but other than that Jack was having the time of her life. She was crouched behind a wall, keeping the Collectors away from Garrus and Shepard. Her job was to kill as many of them as possible while the two boys took shots at the big Reaper...thing. <em>EDI had called it a larva but aren't larva caterpillars?<em>That thing looked like a guy she was knew who had stepped on a landmine, it didn't not look like a bug. Whatever the Reaper looked like, Jack didn't have to worry about it. She just needed to use her biotics and her shotgun to kill any Collectors that showed up, and so far she had done an excellent job. _Don't get too cocky though, you get cocky and you get careless. You get careless and you get dead._Suddenly, Jack heard some sort of explosion from the Reaper thing. She poked her head out of the cover she was currently hiding behind to see that its eyes appeared shattered and fire was pouring out of his skull. Garrus and Shepard had done enough damage that it wasn't trying to attack them anymore. Instead, it was screaming and thrashing its arms, killing several nearby Collectors in the process. _Sweet._

Suddenly, the Reaper fell forward, its entire body slamming into the platform they were all standing on. The sheer weight of the Reaper caused the entire platform to tilt and Jack suddenly found herself sliding towards the edge. _Not sweet, FUCK! _With her wounded leg Jack didn't have the strength to slow herself down. Jack glanced up, looking around for a handhold of some kind. Her eyes widened as she saw Shepard sliding towards her on his belly, hand outstretched, ready to grab her. She frantically tried to grab his hand but they were both moving too much. Suddenly the platform beneath Jack disappeared and she felt herself starting to fall. She realized she must have slid right off the edge. _Well this is certainly a shitty way to go, death by falling_. And her momentum was brought to a sudden stop as she felt Shepard's hand grasp hers. Shepard pulled Jack back up onto the platform just in time for an explosion to send the whole thing tilting in the other direction. Jack and Shepard tumbled across the platform before slamming into a raised section that Garrus was clutching to. Jack glanced around trying to get her bearings just in time to see another platform come spinning through the air on a direct course for them. _Well fuck, this is going to hurt_.

Jack's next thought wasn't entirely coerent. It was merely awareness of a weight being lifted off of her. She groaned and opened her eyes. She was still in the Collector base. They were still on that stupid honeycomb platform, it had crashed and wedged itself into one of the exposed walkways. Jack noticed Garrus was standing off to the side with his gun out, scanning for enemies. Shepard finally finished lifting the big-ass chunk of debris off of her body. Jack started to stand up when her leg gave out. She glared down at it. _Fuck you leg. Now is not the time to give up. _She attempted to get up again and Jack promptly collapsed into Shepard's arms.

"I saw your leg when I lifted the plate off of you, looks like you got shot straight through the knee. I'm surprised you were able to last this long. Don't worry Jack, I can carry you back to the Normandy," Shepard said.

"Fuck that, I'm not some pretty prissy princess. I can walk, just give me a second."

"Jack, I will be carrying you back. The question now becomes whether or not you will be conscious for the trip." Shepard sternly replied, using his Commander voice.

"...fine, but give me a gun so I can shoot behind you."

* * *

><p>And that was exactly what he did. Shepard had run the entire way back to the Normandy, in full armor, carrying Jack while they were being chased by Collectors and those stupid swarms. They had barely made it onto the ship and gotten out of there before the base exploded. While everyone else onboard was celebrating Shepard had carried Jack down to the medical bay for Chakwas to examine her. He had stayed right by her bed until both Chakwas and Jack had kicked him out. <em>Talk about clingy, god damn<em>. As Jack lay on her bed in the hold, remembering Shepard's treatment of her after the assault on the Collector base, she had to admit Tali may have had a point, Shepard did hold her when she was hurt. _But that didn't mean Shepard and I are a thing! I will not become dependent on him just so he can screw me over later! I know he says he won't but he will, people always do! _Jack thought back to before they had gone through the Omega-4 Relay, when she had gone up to Shepard's room.

* * *

><p><em>Don't back down now, hurry up and say what you want to say! <em>"Shepard," Jack said as she quickly walked into his room.

Shepard was reading from a datapad as she walked over, quickly putting it down when he saw her. "I wasn't expecting you, Jack."

"I was thinking about you...and...and maybe you're right. That I need..." Jack couldn't even finish the sentence. If she didn't finish it then that meant she wasn't weak, she didn't need him, didn't need anyone. _I'm strong dammit!_

"It's alright," Shepard said as he brought his hand up to lightly stroke her cheek. "No more questions."

_Damn him! Damn him for making me care! _Jack couldn't take it, she wrapped her arms around Shepard in a hug as she fell tears starting to form in her eyes. It wasn't a hug of lust or desire, they weren't going to have sex. As Shepard held her there in silence, she knew it was a hug of warmth and need.

At some point they made their way to the bed, Shepard was gently kissing her. It was what she needed, to be held in this man's arms and treated this way.

* * *

><p><em>OK OK, so maybe he also listens to me when I'm...ugh emotional<em>. _Just because he is willing to listen to me and express no interest in sex doesn't mean he won't fuck me and ditch me. After all, now that he doesn't need me for the suicide mission anymore I bet he will jump in my pants first chance that he gets. _Jack's brain finally caught up to what it was she was thinking. Shepard had not taken any of the opportunities he had to sleep with her. Hadn't done it when she offered it to him here in the hold, hadn't tried it when she had first gone up to his cabin before the mission, hadn't tried it earlier tonight. _What if he's gay?__Nah, that can't be it. I've caught him staring at Miranda's ass when she's not looking._So if he wasn't gay, then that meant the reason he wasn't trying to sleep with Jack was because he actually meant what he said. That he just wanted a relationship with her and was willing to wait until she was ready for sex. That was...just weird. Sure, Shepard had told her that before. And sure, she sort of took him at his word. But now, looking back on it, he seriously had been honest with her.

Jack rolled off of her cot. She should go back up to Shepard's room and apologize. _That's what adults in relationships do, right? Apologize after they fuck up? _With a sigh Jack began climbing the stairs. Shepard was pretty laid back, he probably wouldn't care that she had left. Maybe she should stop and grab some food from the cafeteria, claim that she woke up because she was hungry. Except, that would be a lie and Shepard was really good about knowing when people lied and Jack realized that she simply didn't want to lie to him. That man was turning her into a pussy and she was letting him.

Jack sighed as she approached the elevator. She was just going to have to be honest with Shepard. Tell him that she got scared he wouldn't want to be with her, that she left him so that he couldn't leave her. _OK, I can do this. _Jack hit the button for the elevator and took a deep, calming breath. _He won't be mad, he's dealt with all my shit already. This is just one more thing we can get through together_...**"**_we can get through together?" Man, I sound like a bitch_. The elevator doors opened and luckily, no one was in there. Jack didn't think she had the patience to deal with talking to anybody other than Shepard right now. She walked inside and pushed the button for Shepard's room.

As the elevator began rising through the ship, Jack thought about how Shepard would come down into the hold after missions to talk with her even though there wasn't any reason to.

* * *

><p><em>Heavy footsteps up there. The engineers are still by the core, not heavy enough to be the krogan, and I don't hear a limp so its not scarface. Only other person that would be walking around up there at this hour would be...<em>Jack's suspicions were confirmed when she heard the footstep began coming down the stairs to her hold. Only one person was brave and stupid enough to come down here without shouting down at her first to ask if it was OK for them to come down.

"Hey," Jack said as Shepard approached her cot.

"Tell me about you, Jack. What are you up to?" Shepard asked.

"I'm still checking out your ship. Wouldn't mind putting her through her paces when you're not around," Jack said as she stood up. She didn't like having a big guy like Shepard towering over her when they talked, felt too much like an interrogation.

"I doubt Joker would appreciate that, at least while we're working," Shepard said with a straight face. _Is he being serious or is he just humoring me? Can I take this thing for a spin if I survive the suicide mission? Eh, something this complicated probably wouldn't be that much fun to fly anyway, too much trouble to steer._

"Relax, joy riding doesn't have the thrill it used to." Jack said with a shrug. "Besides, if I wanted it, I'd take it." _And there's nothing any of you bitch-ass Cerberus dick bags can do about it._

"That so?" There was just a hint of danger in Shepard voice, almost daring Jack to try taking over the ship. _Maybe later, still haven't explored the whole ship yet._

"I've been around. Ran with some gangs, wiped out some gangs, joined a cult, kept the haircut. I learned how to survive and not be a victim." Something half of the crew should probably learn judging from the way they flinched every time she or the krogan walked by any of them.

"Hard to imagine you in a cult. That usually involves a lot of rules."

"I was looking for answers. Drugs and sex and going to a better place," Jack snorted. "A better place, right. It was all about money. They wanted to take a colony, shake the suckers down. Guess who was their ace in the hole. They were just like the rest, didn't give one shit about me."

"What did you do when you found out?" Shepard asked.

_Is he really that stupid or is he just making conversation? _ "What do you think?"

"You must have met some good people too." _Changing the subject I see, guess you didn't feel like answering my question._

"Everybody wants something, and because of that, everything is fair game." Jack said matter-of-factly. "Murder, assault, kidnapping, drugs, stealing, arson, done it all. And that's the boring shit. Piracy, theft of military craft, destruction of a space station, and vandalism. That was a good one."

Shepard shook his head, "A space station? You're pushing what I can believe."

"Ain't saying it was easy. Not everything is spur of the moment. Sometimes you gotta work to give people what they deserve. Had some people I hung with for a while, outlaw colony. Felt like they were like me. Guess that made us a nice target. Turians think they know something about a scorched-Earth response, FUCK 'em."

"You were a pirate too?"

"Ties in with the kidnapping," Jack explained. "If you hijack a passenger ship and don't kill everyone, anyway. Good lesson, simpler to just kill them all."

"I'm surprised you even mentioned vandalism in that bunch."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. "That's what the hanar call it when you crash that space station I mentioned into one of their moons and make a new crater. They really liked that moon."

"Do you ever wonder if you could have done things differently?" Shepard asked. _Huh, he's not being accusatory. Sounds like he's just curious._

"No."

"Shouldn't you?"

"There's no reason I should be alive, but I am. You know why? Instinct! It's worked for me so far and I'm not gonna change." Jack responded curtly. She stood up from the wall she had been leaning against. "Hey Shepard, no one's ever asked me about this shit. It's strange to talk about. So fuck you, and thanks for asking."

* * *

><p>The elevator doors opened and Jack looked out at the entrance to Shepard's room. She didn't often get scared but suddenly Jack found she wasn't looking forward to walking in there. She slowly, very slowly, began walking towards Shepard's room. <em>Stop being a bitch and grow a pair already! Go in there and talk to Shepard! He won't be mad, he knows you have problems<em>. Jack squared her shoulders, stood up straight, and marched through the door into Shepard's room...to discover him still asleep, blissfully unaware of emotional turmoil currently going through her head. _He didn't even notice I was gone. That fucker._

Jack went into the bathroom and grabbed an empty glass. After filling it with cold water she walked over to the bed and proceeded to dumb the water on Shepard's sleeping form. In less than a second he shot awake, sat up, withdrew the Carnifex he kept under his pillow, and brought his other arm up in a guard stance. Upon noticing Jack standing over him, Shepard relaxed...somewhat. _Good, the dumb fuck knows I'm dangerous_.

"Jack, why did you decide to wake me up with a glass of cold water?"

"Because," Jack said, still glaring down at Shepard, "I want to talk to you and you looked too peaceful. We're on Omega, try paying attention to your surroundings a bit more. Besides you should consider yourself lucky I used water instead of a fist to your head."

"Fair enough. What would you like to talk about?" Shepard asked as he placed his pistol back underneath his pillow and began shaking some of the water off of his arms.

"I...I don't know." Jack said as she looked down at her bare feet. She wiggled each toe as she counted to ten and took a deep breath and tried again. "I want to know why you put up with me. I want to know why you won't fuck me. I want to know why the savior of the fucking galaxy wants to spend time with someone who has a rap sheet the size of a god damn relay. Because if I know all of that, I'll least then I'll have a better idea of when you're going to call this whole thing off."

"Jack, we've been over this. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well then fucking humor me!" Jack shouted at him.

Shepard scooted back so that he was leaning up against the wall. Jack sat down on the bed next to his feet. "Jack, did you know that Miranda expressed interest in me at one point?"

"Figures she would. Probably thought you were spending too much time with me and wanted to bring you back under Cerberus control. Was she a good fuck at least?"

"I turned her down Jack."

"What? Why? I may hate her guts but I'd still hit that given the opportunity. Then again she'd probably be really bitchy and controlling...ah fuck whatever." Jack decided she didn't want to continue that train of thought.

"The reason I turned her down was because of how she saw me. Miranda sees me as...well perfect. A male version of herself. Despite everything I've done Jack, I'm not perfect. I'm only human. Eventually, reality would come crashing down and anything I had with Miranda would come to an end."

"Alright, so what's the fucking point?"

"I'm getting there. Did you know that Kelly and Tali both made passes at me as well?"

"The frotch and the bucket head? So what?"

Shepard frowned, "Be nice Jack, there's no need for name calling. With those two, they weren't flirting with John Shepard the man, they were flirting with John Shepard the savior of the galaxy. The man who has personally rescued both of them from harm, in Tali's case on more than one occasion. To them, I'm an ideal, a hero. And much like with Miranda, eventually they would stop seeing me as the second coming of Jesus and realize I'm just another human."

"I think you would make a pretty good Jesus, you did come back from the dead after all." Jack said with a smirk.

"You're missing the point here."

"That's probably because you haven't told me what it fucking is yet." Jack said, glaring at Shepard.

"How do you see me Jack?"

"I...uh...what do you mean?"

"You mentioned that I'm a galactic hero and you're a criminal, is that what you think about when you're with me? How lucky you are that I haven't hauled you in yet? Who and what do you see me as? Why are you here?"

Jack struggled to find the words. _How do I see Shepard? Why do I spend time with him? _**"**Because..." she began, "because you aren't scared of my tats, or me. I like being with you because you come to see me down in the hold. I like that you see past what everyone else sees. That you know me, when no one else does. You...got past my wall." Jack couldn't look Shepard in the face when she finished, so she instead chose to stare at his very impressive torso.

"Do you know what I see when I look at you Jack?" Shepard asked. He answered to question before she gave any thought to it. "I see someone who has been through so much crap in her life, she not impressed with stupid things like military rank or how many lives he's saved. You only care about how people can affect you, and you react based on that. You see me as a person that as treated you fairly. I'm not Commander Shepard to you, I'm just John Shepard."

"Maybe...maybe that's true."

"So back to your original point Jack; I won't abandon you for the same reason you wouldn't do it to me, because we care for, and understand, each other." Shepard smiled. "Scary thought huh? Being in a real, grown up relationship?"

Jack leaned down so that her head was resting on Shepard's shoulder. He wrapped his muscular arms around her and gently rubbed her back. "Yea well, don't let it get out quite yet. I've got a reputation on this bucket of bolts to maintain. Can't have the crew thinking I've gone soft."

Shepard laughed gently. "Oh, I don't think the crew is ever going to stop being terrified of you Jack. If you grew out your hair and started wearing dresses then _maybe_, but I doubt it."

Jack let out a very unlady-like snort. "Not even in your dreams are you gonna see me in a dress."

"Fair enough."

"You know, we still haven't had sex yet" Jack said after several minutes of just enjoying being held in Shepard's arms.

"That's true Jack."

"Well...?" Jack asked when Shepard didn't elaborate.

"Well what? You didn't ask a question, you made an observation and I agreed with you." Jack couldn't see it, but she knew Shepard was smiling as he spoke. She lightly punched him in the ribs.

"You know what I mean. When am I going to be screaming your name into a pillow?" Jack asked as she began lightly dragging her fingertips across Shepard's chest.

"When you're ready."

"I was ready to go earlier tonight, I'm certainly ready now." Jack said as she began moving her hand further down Shepard's body.

"Jack..." Shepard said, his tone of voice cause her to stop her administrations. "Make-up sex, while fun, should not be the cause of our first time together. It should be because we are both emotionally stable and mature enough for it to not adversely affect our relationship."

Jack picked her head up from Shepard's shoulder to look him in the eye. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Shepard sighed. "Jack, you woke me up in the middle of the night right after we got back from a suicide mission to have an argument about how we saw our relationship. Neither one of us is in an optimal state of mind at the moment. Let's discuss it in the morning."

"Fine, we can discuss what position you're gonna rail me tomorrow," Jack said with a yawn as she put her head back on Shepard's shoulder. _I will sex him in the morning and he will like it. _As she closed her eyes and began drifting off to sleep Jack thought she heard Shepard chuckle, but wasn't totally sure.

**Author's Note: **_So there is my attempt at a romantic story, hope it wasn't too bad._


End file.
